Bromance
by Melissa Mahadeo
PROLOGUE
Antonio. Jesse. Tyson. Lucas.
On the eve of their mother’s birthday, all four Martinez brothers are brought to their knees and tussled by a similar emotion in the late August air. Confused, angry, aroused, and misled, each find their ending and change for better or worse.
FRIDAY – 7:29 A.M.
Antonio (32)
“Morning, babe,” Antonio grins.
“Hey, honey.”
“Sit down, breakfast will be done in a minute.”
“Nah, I can’t, I gotta run,” Julia says, “Phil is waiting for me out front.”
“What? Jules!”
“I gotta go! I’ll see you later!”
“Yeah.”
Why am I not surprised? Ever since Jules got promoted at the police department, she’s barely been around. Most days I don’t see her until she crawls into bed next to me. We haven’t had sex for months. I’m lucky if I ever get a kiss. Sometimes I wonder if I even matter to her anymore. I swear, it’s like I’m in this marriage by myself. I take care of our home, family (hers and mine), make sure there’s food in the fridge. And what does she do? Work, stay out late, and completely ignore me. Thank God we don’t have children, or they wouldn’t know they had a mother. I just don’t know what to do. If we keep going like this, whatever we have will continue to disintegrate. I force my waffles down and try not to think about it. I have to be at the office in less than an hour.
FRIDAY – 6:16 P.M.
Tyson (22)
“I--I don’t know what to say,” Pia utters.
“You don’t have to say anything, Pia. Please just think about it.”
“Okay, but I just don’t see how--”
“Pia, please. Promise me you’ll sleep on it.”
“Tyson…”
“Can you do that for me?” Tyson asks.
“Fine, I promise.”
She’ll say yes. All the way home, I prayed about it. With every star I saw, I felt like I was one step closer. I did it out on Jill’s balcony while everyone else was inside, since it’s where we first met. Not gonna lie, I was clammy the whole time, nerves dripping down my neck to my shoes. But I knew once I said the words, it would be alright. She’ll say yes. Yes to us. Yes to our future. Yes to the life that we’re going to build together. Yes to…everything. There’s no way this won’t work out. I mean, look at how happy Tony is with Jules. It’s no question that Pia and I will get to feel that happiness too. I turn off the overhead light and flick on the ceiling fan, finding my way to bed. If God is willing, I’ll be sharing this with her more often.
FRIDAY – 11:49 P.M.
Jesse (27)
“So who’s it gonna be tonight?” Kevin asks.
“I don’t know, man. There’s a lot of honeys up in here.” Jesse looks around.
“You’re so full of it. We all know you ain’t takin’ none of ‘em home.”
“What are you talking about, Kev?”
“Don’t play dumb, Jess, me and the guys know exactly why you come here almost every night.”
“Oh, yeah? And why’s that, since you know everything?”
“To see her.”
Ah, there she is. This may be the only thing Kevin, Joe, and Shawn are right about. Blair Christina Donovan. My dream girl. Love of my life. She just doesn’t know it yet. Ever since college, she’s always been in my headspace. Either sitting pretty in psych, twirling her hair with a pencil, or completely disinterested on the arm of one of my gregarious friends. But never on mine. The time’s never lined up because when I have somebody, she doesn’t, and when she has somebody, I don’t.
Every week, I see her come in here with a new guy. Some asshole who doesn’t give a shit about her and only wants her for the night. But tonight, she’s alone. In a red dress, sashaying around the room. What’s she doing? I watch her in a daze as her hips sway to the song and her hands caress each curve. Oh, how I wish those hands were mine. I loosen my tie and swallow. In plain view, her frame rolls and swerves, going in the opposite direction. While her thighs gyrate, connecting and disconnecting to the beat, I imagine them wrapped around my waist. God, I gotta do something about this. I can’t just sit here. As she maneuvers to my side of the bar, our eyes meet, and she bites her lip. Oh, fuck it.
SATURDAY – 12:07 A.M.
Lucas (17)
“Where are we going? Luke?” Ian asks.
“The party room. Shhh,” Lucas whispers.
“But we can’t, it’s only for the coaches.”
“So what?”
“We’ll get in trouble. It’s already past lights out. Luke!”
“Ian, shut up, would you! We’re not gonna get caught. Just trust me.”
“Luke, I’m scared.”
“…”
“There, are you still scared?”
“No,” Ian says.
“Then come on.”
I don’t know why I did that. He was scared. I had to do something, something to comfort him. He was a nervous wreck; he would’ve blown our cover. Then we’d have never made it into the coaches’ party. No dancing, no drinks, no smoke, no nothing. God, that party was amazing. The girls, music. But I could care less about that now.
I glance over at Ian on his cot next to me. He’s fast asleep. Breathing softly, in and out, in and out. Not a care in the world. He must be tired. I’ve seen him like this so many times. Sometimes up close. In sleeping bags. In tents. In his backyard. On the floor of my bedroom. His body inches from mine. He’d always close his eyes before I did. Leaving me to count the freckles on his face and wonder why he had to go back home the next day.
I shake my head and move to look up at the ceiling. Shit, how am I supposed to face him tomorrow? Camp’s done, and we’re driving back for ma’s birthday tomorrow. It’ll be awkward as hell. In a car for three hours. Maybe he’ll forget. It never happened. And If he even sort of brings it up, I’ll just deny it. Yeah. Nothing happened. It was a mistake. I know who I am. I like girls.
SATURDAY – 1:30 A.M.
Antonio (32)
“Tony. Tony. Hey, can we talk? Tony!” Julia screams.
“What, what, what, Jules? What? What do you want?” Antonio asks.
“I just wanna talk to you, baby.”
“Now you wanna talk.”
“Tony, you know me.”
“No, I don't know you. When you act like that, I don’t think you realize how it makes me look or feel.”
“Act like what? Why are you so jealous? It’s not like I’m sleeping with the guy,” Julia says.
“What?”
“Listen, Tony, nothing is going on with Phil. He’s my partner at the station, that’s it. If you think I encouraged this—"
“Oh, don't give me that innocent bullshit. You think I’m fucking blind? I was near the entrance. I saw you. Okay, I saw how you played your games and you played those other guys before, but you never did that to me. Until now.”
“Honey, please—”
“Five years, Julia! Five years we’ve been together, and do I ever ask you for anything? All I ever ask is for you to be honest with me.”
“I was. I told you the truth. This isn’t my fault—"
“Not your fault? You let this happen.”
My head sinks into the couch cushion. This all happened because I pushed her, right into his arms. I’m the reason we’re not sleeping in the same bed tonight. If I’d paid more attention and fought for our marriage, Jules wouldn’t have done this to me. It’s too late now. Any chance we had is gone. She’s not going to change. Nothing’s going to change. And it’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault.
SATURDAY – 2:10 A.M.
Jesse (27)
“Why didn’t you ever ask me out?” Blair asks.
“I could ask you the same,” Jesse says.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t have the nerve.”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you kidding me, Jesse? You were this golden boy/football star, while I was this geeky cheerleader that never got to be a flyer.”
“Oh, come on…”
“It’s true. I was invisible and everyone knew who you were. I was just another one of those wide-eyed girls who was desperately in love with you.”
“In love?” Jesse asks.
“Um, did I just say that? No, no, what I meant was I—”
“Blair.”
“Hm?”
“You love me?”
“Mmm.”
“Say it again.”
“I can’t,” Blair says.
“Why?”
“’Cause I’m afraid of what will happen next.”
I pull Blair to me and pepper her face with kisses. Beneath the sheets, we lay breathless, covered in postcoital bliss. I didn’t think this would happen to me. It was something I dreamt about, but never thought could be a reality. The possibility of Blair Donovan. This insane girl. And here I was thinking I’d be a bachelor for the rest of my life. Hmph. I wonder what the boys will say. Ty will be over the moon, jumping off the walls. Kev will probably give me shit. Luke will be cool. Tony, God knows how he’ll take it, he’s been so tense lately.
Then there’s ma’s party tomorrow. Should I take Blair? Is it too soon? Ma’s always been gracious about our girlfriends, and dad, he’s just glad none of us are into dudes. How are they gonna take it? I mean, it’s not like I’ve never brought a girl home. I have, but nothing’s ever felt permanent before. Not like this. I tighten my grip on her waist and she responds with a sweet peck on my chest. Ah, I don’t need to know now.
SATURDAY – 10:12 A.M.
Lucas (17)
“Alright, talk. You’ve been acting weird, what’s up?” Ian asks.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” Lucas replies.
“Nothing? You sure about that?”
“Yes, now drop it.”
“…”
“Why are you stopping? Ian? Ian!”
“We’re not going anywhere until you talk.”
“Ian! It’s nothing, really—”
“Why are lying to me?”
“I’m not, I don’t know what you’re—”
“You-You’ve been quiet all morning. You’ve barely said two words to me since we got in this car, haven’t even looked at me. So what is it? Did I do something? Is it about the party last night or…?”
“No, you didn’t do anything. Okay, I did.”
“Did what, Luke?”
“Do you really not remember?”
“Remember what? Luke, what’s going on?”
“It’s-- if you don’t remember, just forget it, okay? We’re going to be late, just start the car,” Lucas says.
“No.”
“Ian, start the car.”
“No.”
“Quit fucking around and start the damn car or I swear—"
“What? What the fuck are you gonna do?”
“…”
“You son of a bitch!”
“You wanna know what happened last night?! This!”
I’ve never kissed anyone with a busted lip before. Sure is something though.
Sprawled across the backseat of the Chevy, Ian presses me into the cushion, shoving his face into mine. Rough lips, warm mouth. Sweat, blood, and saliva transfer between us. I’ve never heard his heartbeat before. But now I can feel it pound through his fingertips. Shoulders to knees, there’s not one part that isn’t touching him. It’s good, way too good. I don’t want to stop.
SATURDAY – 11:25 A.M.
Jesse (27)
“We don’t have to go in if you don’t want to,” Jesse says.
“Jess, come on, it’s your mom’s birthday. Of course, we’re going in,” Blair responds.
“I know, but I’m just saying I can circle around the block.”
“You’re real cute, you know that?”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”
As soon as Blair and I walk through the door, we’re greeted with excited squeals and pats on the back. Huh, I guess it really had been a long time. None of my brothers are here yet, we’re the first ones. So, that means we are the first ones to get grilled by mom, dad, abuela, and all the tios and tias. Compared to the other times, it’s not that bad, given that Blair and I are a sure thing. I’m not planning on cutting her loose anytime soon.
Heh. I never knew being with someone could be so easy. I think with the girls before, it was always one thing after another. Either too much drama, gray area, personas, attitudes, alcohol or things I couldn’t fuck with. And whenever Blair came around, I could just forget whatever or whoever was on my mind. I could escape in our history and get lost in her memory. And now that she’s here with me, I can finally stop daydreaming.
SATURDAY – 12:01 P.M.
Tyson (22)
“Hey, sweetheart. I’m so glad you could make it. How are you doing? Where’s that girlfriend of yours?” Marlene asks.
“Ah, Pia will be in in a minute, she’s just parking the car. But, uh, I’m good, mom, really good. Wrapping up school, everything’s on track. And I actually have some news,” Tyson says.
“Oh, what’s going on?”
“Pia and I are getting married.”
“Really? Tyson, are you—”
“Who’s getting married?” Frank asks.
“Oh, honey, apparently our son,” Marlene remarks.
“Well, who’s the lucky girl?”
“Pia, dad. You met her at Fourth of July, remember?”
“Right, right, right. Dark hair, blue eyes?”
“Yep.”
Marlene intercepts, “Sweetheart, um, Jesse and Tio Carlo are in the back setting up, so—”
“Oh, yeah, will you, uh, show Pia around when she—”
“Of course.”
Well, mom and dad seemed to take it alright. I mean, they could’ve been more excited. I’m getting married, for Christ’s sake. What’s up with them? Ah, who cares. It’s not like we’re having our wedding here anyway. If Pia wants, we’ll just elope. Yeah, that’ll work. I wonder how far Jesse and Carlo got with the streamers and string lights.
SATURDAY – 12:04 P.M.
Antonio (32)
“Hey, hey, hey. Baby, where are you going?” Julia asks.
“Jules, not now, I’m late. I need to get out the door.”
“Why? What’s so—”
“My mother’s birthday,” Antonio says.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I didn’t expect you to remember. Move.”
“Wait, wait, Tony, can we please talk?”
“No, I think you said enough last night. I gotta go.”
“Would you just listen? Tony!”
“…”
“Look, I never meant for this to happen. You have to know that. Okay, Phil and I knew—”
“Just get out.”
“What?” Julia asks.
“Pack your shit and get out. We’re done. This, whatever it is, is done.”
“You don’t mean that. How many times have we—"
“I’m serious. I want you gone by the time I get back.”
I had to do it. It’s fine. It’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. I gotta be. I lean back in the driver’s seat and run my fingers through my hair, shaking my head. Ma must be wondering where I am.
SATURDAY – 12:30 P.M.
Tyson (22)
“Tyson, can we talk?” Pia asks.
“Of course, my love. Guys, I’ll be right back.”
“Come here, please.”
“What’s wrong?” Tyson asks.
“Why are you telling your family we’re engaged?”
“Because we are? Pia, I meant what I said. We’re getting married.”
“What? Tyson, I didn’t say yes, let alone give you an answer yet.”
“But you said—”
“I said I’d think about it. Babe, we’ve only been together for four months. It’s too soon—”
“But we’re in love. I love you, Pia, more than anything.”
“I love you too, but we need to slow down. Okay, we’re so young. We’re still in school. I barely know what’s gonna happen next year with my internships. God, what will my parents say…”
“Who cares what they think? We’re the ones getting married, not them,” Tyson says.
“No one’s getting married! Tyson—”
“Pia, Pia, please listen to me. I promise I’ll stay by your side. Do anything you want. I’ll never hurt you, just please—”
“You already have. You think this is what I want? T-t-to be rushed into something that I’m not ready for or even sure that I want?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“It, It’s too much right now, Tyson.”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“I can’t stay. I’m gonna go. Tell your mom happy birthday for me.”
This can’t be happening. I find a seat on the staircase facing the front door. She hates me. Oh God, what did I do? You pushed her away, you idiot. I didn’t mean to. I only wanted to tie myself to her in every possible way. Now, she’ll never speak to me again. I should go after her. Maybe if I do, she’ll take me back. She’s got to. I look around. Everyone’s in the backyard. If I tiptoe out now, nobody will notice. Before I can even twist the doorknob, it opens.
SATURDAY – 12:37 P.M.
Antonio (32)
“Hey, buddy, you going somewhere?” Antonio asks.
“Oh, Tony, I-I was just going to—”
“Go for a walk?”
Tyson stammers, “Yeah, um, I wanted to get some fresh air and—”
“In the middle of ma’s party?”
“Hmph.”
“Ah-hah, yeah there’s no way. Come on!”
“Tony! Wait, I-I have to—”
“No, you don’t. Whatever it is, cannot be more important than ma’s party. Come on, I’m sure it can wait.”
If there’s one person I know better than Jules, it’s Tyson. I can’t count on two hands how many times I’ve saved his ass from doing something stupid. And I know that, if he was willing to leave mom on such a special day, then wherever he was going probably wasn’t worth it. No matter how much he may hate or curse me, Ty has to know that I’m only looking out for him. Just like mom and dad always said to do as brothers. I’ll always have his back even if he never has mine. That’s what we do. And Lord knows if anyone else came through the door at that moment, it’d be a different story.
SATURDAY – 1:48 P.M.
Lucas (17)
“Are you okay? You’re not still bleeding?” Lucas asks.
“Nah, I’m good. It stopped,” Ian replies.
“Alright, let’s go in then. We’re already late.”
“Wait.”
“What’s up?”
“Luke, before we go in there, I have to know. What, what are we doing?” Ian asks.
“Huh? What do you—”
“Are you gay?”
“I-I don’t know. Do we really have to talk about this now?”
“Yeah, we do. Tell me, are you into me? Are you into guys?”
Do I have feelings for Ian? Is that what this is? Is that why I wanna kiss him right now? Why I didn’t want to stop before? Do I love him? Yeah. I wouldn’t have kept him around for so many years if I didn’t. But does that mean I like guys now? Maybe next week I’ll be into girls again. Who knows? I don’t. Fuck. I glance out the windshield at my house. How am I supposed to go in there now? I don’t want to ruin mom’s party with my bullshit. What do I do? I could just leave. Get out of here, tell her we got stuck in traffic and swing by again later. No. She’ll be disappointed. She did want us all together for her fiftieth.
Damn it.
Pushing open the passenger door, I jump out and make my way over to Ian’s side. Flinging open his door, I grab his hand, ignoring his protestations, and march towards the house. Dad told us growing up that we should be brave despite the circumstances. So, if I am what I think I am or not, it doesn’t matter because I’m still going to walk into this party with my best friend.
EPILOGUE
Lucas. Tyson. Jesse. Antonio.
First love. Marriage. Divorce. Reconciliation. Family.
Melissa Mahadeo ('22) is an English major who eats, sleeps, and breathes poetry. As her primary creative outlet, she often writes about romance, mentalities, and moments of stillness. When she's not writing, she enjoys singing and watching old films.