Color of Life

by Isabel Sandone

Alice Mills

My life was still dark.

I was twenty-seven years old but my life was still dark. Part of me lost hope; I would never find my soulmate. Everyone lived in a world of darkness until they touched that person. That one person who was their soulmate. One brief encounter with them and someone’s world would be filled with color. My married friends tried to explain color to me but I couldn’t understand.

Red was said to be power, wonderful power but dangerous at the same time. Blue was the sky and was the rain that came on sad days. Yellow was the sun that gave us warm days and it was flowers in a meadow that I’d never get to see. There were so many colors that I couldn’t even imagine them. My mind was dark too.

Christmas was said to be filled with reds and greens and every so often silk silvers but to me Christmas was just another bleak day at the grocery store trying to get last minute food.

Apparently everyone had the same idea.

My grip on the shopping cart tightened as someone bumped into me with a haste sorry. I rolled my eyes as I reached out to grab a head of lettuce. People weren’t looking at other people when they were walking through the grocery store, they just wanted food.

The store was so crowded I was being hit on either side and was barely moving an inch a minute. I groaned and leaned forward onto my cart.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I took it out. I swiped the message that read Mom and read what she had to say.

I’m excited to see you tomorrow sweetie. I can tell you what you look like again if you’d like.

That would be great mom, thanks.

Every time we saw each other she liked to describe what I looked like and what I was wearing. She met my dad thirty years ago. I smiled at just the thought of her stories on how she met my father. They seemed like an impossible dream.

I opened the weather app and another person hit my shoulder.

A jarring pain hit my head and I dropped my phone, startled. I let go of the shopping cart and bent over to pick up my phone.

All at once black and grey drained out of my eyes and multiple shades of color took their place. My chest rose up and down quickly as I tried to take in all of the colors. The lettuce I had just picked up was a different color than the floor of the store.

I picked up my phone with sweaty palms and looked around the store at the many people milling about. I was too focused on my phone to look at who the last person that hit me was.

Scanning the people I moved an inch forward. I thought if someone was experiencing the same wonders as I was they would be looking around too but there was no one.

Everyone was just shopping.

I looked once more at the shopping cart I had and spun on my heels running through the exit doors. I halted in my tracks as I was drenched in colors outside. The sky was blue, or at least I guess it was. There was an orb of light color in the sky and even lighter cotton like objects next to it.

My legs felt weak as I ran to my car. Unlocking the dark handle the colors seemed to fade and everything went back to black and grey.

“No no no no no,” I cried as I sat down in the driver seat. I banged my head against the wheel in frustration. What if I never touched the person again? What if that glimpse of color was the only glimpse I’d ever get.

“Alice sit down so I can tell you what you look like,” my mom demanded.

I couldn’t stop pacing the floor, “Mom I saw the colors a few days ago but I can’t find the person. What if I never see them again?”

My mom sighed, “You will. Now sit down.”

I huffed in defeat and plopped down next to her. I looked into her dark eyes and smiled.

“Your hair is a beautiful shade of blonde. It’s like the color of honey. You have a few brown freckles on your nose and your eyes are just gorgeous. They are the brightest green I have ever seen. You’re wearing a purple knit sweater and dark blue jeans,” she described.

I tried to picture myself with the colors I saw the previous day but couldn’t match the colors to what she was saying.

I brought the teacup on the table to my lips and took a long sip. My mother put a hand on my shoulder, “Hon you’ll see him again, I promise you. Can you get the mail outside? I think there are a few packages as well.”

I nodded and set the cup down. I stretched my arms as I stood up and walked to the door. A crisp wave of air blasted me in the face and my ears teared up. I bent over to pick up the packages when I heard a distraught cry behind me.

I turned around and saw a woman kneeling down cursing. Miscellaneous items were scattered on the sidewalk.

I set the packages down and ran over to help her.

She looked me in the eye and smiled, “Thank you so much, I’m such a mess right now. I was looking for my car keys and I didn’t realize the bottom was ripping.”

I giggled, “It’s okay. I think we’re all a mess around the holidays.”

She raised her eyebrows and nodded in agreement.

I reached out to grab her phone at the same time she did. My fingers brushed hers and I looked up at her.

I fell back onto my butt as the black and grey drained from her body. She looked at me with fright and stood up abruptly.

“It can’t be,” she muttered.

I stood up to match her height, “Were you at Mack’s two days ago?”

“Yeah.”

I couldn’t believe it.

My soulmate was a girl. Never in a million years did I think my soulmate would be a girl. Of course there were some girls I’d see on tv and think they were pretty but I didn’t think I was in love with them.

The woman across from me stuck out her hand, “I’m Robyn.”

I shook her hand with hesitance, “I’m Alice .”

“It’s nice to finally meet you Alice.”

I studied her smile, her eyes, her hair, her words and I realized she was the most beautiful person I had ever laid eyes on.

Her eyes were a radiant blue. It was as if she had gotten them from the ocean itself. Her hair was dark brown and fell to her mid back. Her lips were a soft pink and her fingernails were always painted purple. She was wearing a white dress.

Our three years together were the most wonderful years of my entire existence. No matter how hard I found it that my soulmate was a girl I ended up falling for her fast. Nothing felt forced or felt wrong.

She smiled at me in comfort as if she could sense my nervousness. I stood up on my tiptoes and then went flat footed again. I looked out into the crowd of people watching us. Some still couldn’t see color and I felt bad for them.

I couldn’t imagine life without color anymore.

My eyes met my mom's and I smiled. The seat next to her was empty, reserved for my late father. He had passed away one year ago after Alice proposed to me. My mother couldn’t see color anymore, she couldn’t even remember the color.

A raspy voice beside me spoke, “You may kiss the bride.”

I leaned forward and Robyn met me halfway. Our lips touched and it was as if I was experiencing color all over again.

We pulled away and I looked at the wondrous beauty in front of me.

She gave me color.

The clicking of keys filled the room. I flipped a page in the notebook in front of me and proceeded to type what was on the page. My fingers floated above the keys as I looked around my office. I shook my head in disbelief as I tried to wonder for the millionth time how I got my dream soulmate and my dream job all at the same time.

We had been married for twenty two years and everyday waking up to her crystal eyes gave me the same butterfly feeling I had when I first got my glimpse of her in color.

We settled on not having children because we didn’t feel as if we were parent people. We were happy together.

I let my fingers fall on the keys.

A jarring pain filled my head and I clasped my hands in my hair. I moaned and leaned over the keyboard wondering what was going on. It hurt too much, it was horrible.

I opened my eyes and screamed as I saw the once scarlet colored desk I was sitting at was black. I swiveled my head around the room as everything began to turn dark again. Tears filled my eyes, I didn’t understand what was going on.

Another hit and I almost fell out of my chair. I groped for my keys and struggled to stand up. I made it to the door and ran into the main working room. Faces looked up at me but I was focused on getting to my car.

I made it outside and the sky was dreary again. I reached my car and opened it. Starting the engine I pulled out from my parking spot. Wet coolness marked my cheeks as I drove home. I parked the car outside of the house and my breath was stolen from me as I noticed two police cars and an ambulance as well.

I opened the door and everything felt like slow motion.

Two EMTs came out of my doorway carrying a stretcher with Robyn on it. There were breathing tubes in her nose but she looked lifeless.

It couldn’t be.

I refused to believe it.

A man walked up to me, “Are you Ms. Alice Mills?”

I nodded slowly and he told me, “Your wife has suffered from a heart attack. There was nothing we could do.”

My heart dropped.

My nose burned and my vision was blurry.

My feet started moving before my brain processed what was happening. I reached the stretcher and grabbed Robyn’s frail hand. I shook it begging her to wake up.

Strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me back as I screamed out for her.

My life was dark.

Kathleen Graham is a sophomore new media major with a minor in film studies from Weatherly, Pennsylvania. She is passionate about representation in media and strives to create content that will have a positive impact on her community.

Isabel Sandone is a freshman. She plays tennis for Cedar Crest College and is a criminal justice and psychology double major. She loves writing!