Expectations

Andrea Abdale

The daughter with the well-kept hair,

The daughter with the great sense of style,

The daughter with the acne free face,

The daughter with the skinny waist,

This is what you want and expect of me.

But that’s not who I am and you just can’t see.

I’m the girl with the tangled hair,

I’m the girl who’s always comfortable in what she wears,

I’m the girl with pimples on her face,

I’m the girl with the chubby belly and plus sized waist.

Don’t you see? I am trying to find my way,

To find who I am,

 So why can’t you understand?

I always tell you to believe in me and my choices

But you don’t listen

You still act like a queen,

 Who praises me only when I kneel at your feet

When I turn off my voice

Listen to you preach how you’ll help me make the right choice

And you make me believe

I was wrong

And yet…

I’m still happy being the one with the odd set of clothing,

The one with the different hair,

The one who doesn’t think the same,

The one who isn’t afraid to get dirty and make a mess

Being someone who avoids the sunlight because it hurts her eyes

The one who isn’t afraid to cry

I’m not making a scene

For once in my life, I just wish you would listen to me

I tell you again and again that I am okay,

Still you remind me every single day,

I need to be better, I need to look nice, and I need to be thinner.

You say it’s for my benefit and for my health.

So people won’t judge me when I live on my own,

So nothing can hold me back when I finally leave home.

You tell me all these reasons why I should be great,

But then you say that the me right now is nothing but a fake.

I’m not the daughter you envision,

I’m not the daughter you hope to create,

So please, please stop acting like that’s the only thing that matters to you.

Because that means no matter what I do,

It will never be good enough for you.