A.M.

Annie Elizabeth Kreiser

The vague sense of dread that came from the always sudden appearance of back-to-school supply sales had by now receding to a faint tingling in my fingertips. I stood on the side of the road, not really sure what I was doing staring at a lamppost and not the beach. The yachts bobbed like rubber ducks, like me, waiting to be told to go somewhere else. Just a few days ago, the heat still buzzed faintly in the morning, but now I found myself in want of a sweater. The same seasonal sense of urgency crept into the nape of my neck, moved across my brain under my scalp. Once again, I had wasted the summer. My dissertation sat on the desk, hardly progressed five pages. My skin was stubbornly pale. I had barely swum in the ocean we paid so much to rent a house within walking distance of. Soon, I would be whisked inland, and the cold would bite at my nose and cheeks, penetrate me to my bones. I had not squeezed out every drop of summer in my two months on the coast and in failing to do so, I had wasted it. I stared at the lamppost, willing it to flicker to no avail. My insides yawned a cavern of emptiness back into existence. A car flashed by, startling me with its speed, its closeness, and reminding me that I was the only living thing on this road populated with pavement and machines and lampposts. I looked out at the water, felt the urge to jump in where I might belong better with the fish. This would be impractical, so I returned along the same aimless path I had taken before sunrise to avoid acting on such thoughts. On the way back to the house, I entertained other impractical ideas. I would quit my PhD program, abandon my dissertation to rot. I would find a place to live here, get some job at a vague company with promises of interior promotions. Settle into the sea foam and live only in the concrete.

Natalie Binder is a senior psychology major and the secretary of the Psychology Club. This is her first time submitting work to Pitch and she is very excited to see everyone’s work!

Annie Elizabeth Kreiser (’23) is a double major in English and secondary education who dreams of moving someplace warmer. On campus, she serves as a writing consultant and the junior editor of Pitch, Cedar Crest College’s journal of art and literature. After graduation, she plans to attend graduate school before returning to the classroom to teach secondary English.